Hi. Hello. Hey. Aloha.
To all you beautiful people who stumble upon my blog! I hope you are having a great day! Today I decided I wanted to talk about how to deal with Depression and Anxiety.
For those of you who know me, I have often talked about my anxieties and depressions on various social media platforms such as YouTube, Facebook and Instagram. I even made my One Person Show about my struggles dealing with them on a day to day basics that often caused panic attacks to follow.
First thing that I want you all to know is that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! You are not the only one that feels this way. Many people feel this way and it is okay and normal. You just need to find the correct aids to help find a healthy balance. Remember everyone is different and we each have our own remedies.
Let's break it down first.
Depression... Well when I am depressed I have very dark thoughts. I often think about death. I think about what will happen once I reach the end of my journey. I think about how I am going to cope with the death of my close ones. I think about my insecurities. I think about things that are not even necessarily true. Such as "I have no friends" "people don't like me" "They think I'm annoying" "they are just jealous" "they wish me harm". When I am depressed I feel like staying in bed. I feel like not working out. Everything seems to bother me. I focus on all the things that are wrong in my life and how I just WISH it were a different way.
Anxieties... when I am anxious, I worry. I worry I won't ever make my dreams come true. I worry for my love ones happiness. I worry about having enough money to pay for my bills. I worry about failed relationships. I worry about balancing out my priorities. I worry if I am on the right path. I worry about having enough time to complete all the tasks I setup for myself thoughout the day. I even worry if I'm going to get hungry when I go out to party and there won't be any food!
So now that we have established the fact that everyone has depression and anxieties and what they can both look like at times,let's talk about how to deal with it and how to be in control of your own life!
It's all up to you! Believe it or not you are in control of how you feel!
Don't take things personal. I promise it's not even about you. If people are mean, remember they are just frustrated with themselves and the things going on in their world.
Try your best to listen to your inner thoughts. You have a little voice that is always going off in your mind and if you focus really hard you will hear what you are telling yourself thoughout the day.
Get a Journal. Write in it daily or whenever you feel like you need to vent. Journaling is a great way to keep track of your process. There are times when I read past entries and think how pointless it was to stress about something so silly.
EAT! For god sakes people you need to learn how to eat! EAT REAL FOOD! Anything that has had a life before is going to be healthy. Such as Fruits, Veggies, Fish, Nuts etc. Try your best to stay away from dairy and gluten! There are so many healthy alternatives for both! (I will be making a blog that focuses more in depth on food so stay tune.)
Work Out or Be Active. Your body wants to move! Your body likes to move. Go play a game of volleyball, take a dance class, do yoga, go for a walk on the beach, go for a run, go to the gym, whatever you do just get that heart pumping! It will increase your serotonin.
Focus only on the things you can control. Death is a part of life. We are all going to die, yes. But you are not dead right now so why not worry about living, instead. Live life to the fullest and you won't have time to focus on death.
Seek Help. Talk about it. When you are feeling depressed or anxious tell people. However if you have been feeling this way for sometime you should seek medical help. Especially if you are physically hurting yourself. Find a therapist. Beileve it or not depression and anxiety is contagious. And you don't want to affect those you love. A therapist can talk to you from a non bias place and they are trained to help you get through your specific journey.
Set Realistic Goals and Stick To Them. We want to have money, want a specific car, want to have a good looking body, we want many things but we don't work towards getting those things. We don't try to get our goals and then we think it's impossible to achieve so we give up. Start off with a small goal. "Drink a glass of water first thing in the morning and right before bed." "Write one page of your 10 page essay that is due in a month, daily." When you start off with simple goals you have quick victories. Which keeps you motivated and wanting to aim higher.
Live in a Real world Not in a Fantasy world. "I wish he still loved me" "I wish I didn't have to go to that class" "I wish I was dating someone who was taller " "I wish my brother didn't live so far" That is the way things are. And you wishing for them to be different isn't going to change it, it's only going to make you fight with reality. And fighting with reality hurts because you can't change what is. This is something I struggled and still struggle with. My therapist actually is the one who brought it to my attention. There is pain in the fantasy world. Accept what is.
Have some fun! Go out dancing, have a drink, meet up with some old friends, go bowling! As children we always are playing. But as adults we forgot to have fun. We are all work and no play. We need to play in order to let go of stress. I know it's seems like a task to go out when you are depressed. Believe me I have been there. I have forced myself to go out and then had a panic attack because I didn't really want to be there. Find a safe way to have fun if drinking and clubbing isn't your way of fun. Just do something to clear you mind from responsibilities.
Travel. Take a vacation. Go explore a new country, new state, new city. You don't have to spend a foutune. You don't have to travel across the world to find serenity. My boyfriends grandparents have a farm an hour away from home and when we go I feel like I am transferred to a whole other part of the world. There is silence there that we city folks are not use to. Take a trip to a lake a beach whatever is near you and even that makes you feel like you are on a vacation. Vacation is a state of mind.
Do a random act of kindness When you do something for others you find a form of inner peace. Give food to a homeless person. Volunteer. Give to charity. Find a good cause that you believe in. Hear a friend out.
Spend some time with yourself. There are times, when I spend time with friends or and I have such a good time that I get sad when I have to be alone. But being alone can be just as fun as being with friends. It's good to find comfort in being by yourslef. It helps you really listen to your inner thoughts. Plan for the future. Catch up on a show that's a guilty pleasure. Sometimes you might be sad because you actually just miss yourself!
Do something new believe it or not sometimes you are just bored! You are tired of the same 9 to 5. The same get home, shower, eat and go to bed. Switch up your routine. Go take an art class. Go out to dinner in a really nice restaurant. Get a fun haircut. Spend some money on yourslef. You deserve it. Take a risk. Move to another city. Go back to school to follow your dreams. Pick up an instrument. Sing to the top of your lungs.
Don't take life so seriously. At the end of the day, life is really not as complicated that we tend to make it in our minds. It's actually quite simple. Try your best to find the quality of life and find how to look at the brighter side of things. All is good my friends. So don't worry and be happy!
I hope these little things that have helped me, help you. If you are sad about a breakup. It's okay. You have every right to be sad. So be sad. Cry. Listen to Adele. But then pick yourslef back up and work towards greatness! Remember that everyone is going through their own struggles, so be nice and be patient.
You are going to get through this. You are a survivor!
Mental illness is a real thing. If you are feeling depressed and anxious beyond your own repair, seek medical help immediately.
With lots of love,
Xoxo Elizabeth Danielle